So, in the shower today, I was bothered, or confronting a dissonance. In my house, an Asian house, there is shampoo. We buy the cheap shampoo, like the 99 cent value sized shampoo that does not leave your hair smelling like the scent it says unless you wash your hair 4 times with it. (okay, maybe 3) Anyway, I open up the shampoo and it is watery and almost full, not in its original bottle. So, basically, the shampoo has been watered down.

Living missionally (living frugally for another entry) is something you can do in the every day. For some reason, when I come home with the people I am close to, I feel like—I should not have to deal with this. I lose my temper more, I do not seek be as patient, and I find myself red-lining like crazy. (Red-lining, not on the God line, not responding with grace and not building trust) More and more, I see that we live missionally every day, we seek to red line or green line (God line). That a lot of things are not wrong or right but just different, which can be a terribly hard concept for me to embrace at times.

Maybe it is the inside and the outside of the cup for me, maybe a stretch of the metaphor.
But I love outside and others, but inside in the closest relationships of my life, I am the selfish one. With them, my sinful nature appears. My honest self, not who God has intended me to be, but simply I am.

The foolish to shame the wise. The Pharisees and teachers of the law that do not get it, or maybe because their pride, they will not give in. But what is more desired? What is of worth? To obey is better than sacrifice. I desire mercy, not sacrifice. Even though I cannot understand this in its fullness, someway, somehow it is making more sense.