I feel like that

I feel like that
too.


So what? Someone to resonate with my emotions. A realization that I am human and others go through it too. A thought that maybe, just maybe the world is not just about me and that it's not that big of a deal. Or just I need someone to listen and I just want to get it off my chest. Close my mind. Open my mind. It just is as it as. Look forward. Look back. In the moments and that's all.

A season for everything. A trust of things unseen. An insignificance that I feel not really woth the trouble. A unusual moment of expression and inner reflection.

And what?


To care. To change. Close my mind. Open my mind. It just is as it as. Look forward. Look back. In the moment and that's all.



meaningless. meaningless...



Truth.

And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

Note to self: Staring in the direction of where the bus should be coming from does not make it come faster.

Other words, I need to chill a little and enjoy the moments waiting at the bus stop (or in other contexts that this would apply).

He who has ears, let him hear.

I stood outside of my church today for a good 30-45 minutes.
Watching the many people walk by, foreigners and native Koreans-- hearing a mix of languages.

In particular, I was interested in this one man standing outside.

The church I attend is a huge one in Seoul. Two buildings with multiple floors-- a bookstore, coffeeshop, and multiple worship halls and eating areas.
Therefore, I've seen groups do human rights protests outside of it.
Also, people playing the harmonica and collecting money from the many people passing by, or attempting to at least.


Anyway, back to the man, there was a different person standing outside after I came out of service. I thought of buying him a drink since it was cold out.

Then, there was a cart selling ho-duk, and I, very hungry by that point, bought a snack. Then, I stood contemplating what I should do next, where I should go that is.

Then, I just stood there for a while, watching this man. Thinking about whether I should try to talk to him. Most people didn't give him a second glance. Most people were buying snacks on the street, talking about what to do after church, and here is this man grumbling and not very happy.

He began to complain that none of these people even would give him anything. And as all of them are buying all these snacks, to even notice him. He was just muttering to himself, half-rhetorically. And even one time put his stick in front of some girls walking. (He was blind, or visually impaired)

And I stood there checking my phone, trying to be inconspicuous. Finally, in an abrupt movement went to go stand in the line again. I bought two snacks, took one (I dont know why-my humanly selfish nature?) and gave one to him. And he was so thankful, and stopped mumbling. And I walked away.

He had a message for us today. About money, lifestyle, what is of importance.

He who has ears, let him hear.

Play Your Cards

I believe that what I do and how I live has a huge impact on those around me. I guess I have been thinking about this idea as maybe blowing myself up to possibly something bigger than I am, and if so, let it be. Because I hope to seek to live onto God firstly, not myself. So, in the end, it's not what it's about.

But, moreover, I guess what I'm really trying to say is that: I want to be a person of influence-- in word and deed.


"Play the cards you've been handed."

Long School Day

I feel like today is one of the longest days in a long time.
We have Winter Intensive right now at school, so I'm here from 9am-8pm.

Kids are so funny.

The second and third graders are so fun and great to teach.
Because they listen and engage, not so much in the rebellious stage-- well, some of them. They like to hide in my classroom in different places trying to scare me when I can see their bright green jacket from afar. Or them chasing after me, and them having to practically jog because my steps are bigger than theirs. Also, so easy to please at times, I gave them Halloween pictures to color today (because that's all I had in my file), and they loved it.

I guess it makes it even more endearing because they are speaking this second language. In my First Grade Class, we had multiple new students this week, but in particular one boy who is about a head taller than anyone else in my class. He comes in and one of my student's, who calls himself "Mr. John Lee"* during introductions, has a shocked expression on his face gasping, "Wow. He's very long.."
I almost burst in laughter. Ah, maybe I am the one easily amused. =)

But there is something so wonderful about children-- something I really love. Their wittiness and innocence, and some of them are so impressionable. Sometimes I look at them and wonder who they will become. I already think I'm going to miss them.

To live outside of expectation.
To live with love.

I think my family hands down, I love them.
And it's deeper than a cultural value that I've learned.
Because it cannot be easily broken.
And one of the things that I cannot (and do not) reason out why,
but I do with no hesitation.

This morning, I think about what moves people,
what gets them excited, what they are anxiously waiting to talk or blog about.
And I love God's Word. I love the Bible.
I love the way it speaks to my soul, and I love to dig into it.
It's more than just me feeling like I'm "obligated to", I really love it.

What do you love?

Thick-skin

Today was a hard day at school.
I need to learn how to discipline my classroom, to be impartial.
Thick-skin is something that I do not have.